The Third Act: Spoiled pets make the world go round

Guest Commentary
May 3, 2008

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By Debbe Ledbetter



Remember when you were in a relationship before kids and your pets were your "kids?" My husband and I spent the first eight years of our marriage "parenting" our dogs. During those early years, our dogs were big and rowdy, much like our lifestyle. We spoiled them, but always with an equal measure of discipline. My mom used to say that raising your pets was the testing ground for child rearing.

As the kids arrived and changed the family dynamics, the dogs were occupied more with the children. Our first dog was a large, 130-pound Saint Bernard/husky mix. The first thing he would do when he came inside was to find our little one in the crib and lay down right underneath it. Later, as the children grew up, there was much romping in the backyard and sleeping in their bedrooms. The pace of life was very busy and we adults did not spend as much time with the dogs as did our children.

Fast forward to the "empty nest" and here we are once again; just my husband and I and our two dogs. Only this time we seem to enjoy and appreciate them in a different way. We used to tease my in-laws about the time and money spent on special food and tips on the best nutrition for their "babies." My mother-in-law, an excellent seamstress, would even have them model the latest doggie sweaters for the cooler weather. After retirement, they traveled quite a bit and, over time, their canine companions were smaller breeds for convenience.

They spoil their dogs much like we used to dote over our children. When our in-laws visit, they bring their two small dogs who romp happily with our two big labs. One bone of contention between my in-laws has been my father-in-law feeding the dogs scraps from the table. On a recent visit, this familiar conversation took place with my father-in-law denying the accusations. However, the tables were turned the following morning when we caught my mother-in-law hand feeding one of the little mutts a small tidbit of her leftovers at the breakfast table.

We discovered other empty nesters, such as our neighbors, had special guidelines for their beloved canine. We agreed to take care of their dog, Tails, for the weekend. We toured the kitchen to be sure of where the food and biscuits were located. In addition, specific instructions called for "heating water in the microwave for exactly 20 seconds before adding to the food." Admittedly, we have fallen into the same habits. Recently, our daughter and son-in-law stayed at our home over a weekend to be with our two dogs, Bo and Buster. They teased us about the two pages of instructions we left with them on the care and feeding of our special family members.

But the kicker for us was the routine that took place every time we left my in-laws' home without their dogs. Before closing the front door, they made sure to leave on the television so "it seemed more like home." We teased them about which TV station the pets would prefer or perhaps how some country/western music might be more enjoyable.

My husband and I are going out this evening and have a dilemma of our own. Should we tune in "Animal Planet" or perhaps some smooth jazz would create the best ambiance for our canine buddies!

Debbe Ledbetter is a 50-something Windsor resident residing in an "empty nest" with her husband of 35 years and two labs, Bo and Buster.